i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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