That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
