Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize