so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
