why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
