How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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