eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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