if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize