she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
