Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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