I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
