How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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