Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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(805): View more from California

Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.

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(562): View more from California

If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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(954): View more from Florida

I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"

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