we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
