You made me cry and you don't even care
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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