he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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