I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
