i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
