i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
