omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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