i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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