i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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