so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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