Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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