hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
