Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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