i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
