It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They took my balls.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
