he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
