also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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