Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
