# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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