I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
