2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
