I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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