That's intense
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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