Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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