I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize