she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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