I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
