I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
