it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
