We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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