i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
