Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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