Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
