Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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