sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
