i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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