hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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