Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
