bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
