Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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