Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
