Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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