We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
