a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
