At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
