I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I could fuck to npr.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
