Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
