I must be too annoying 4 u.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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