apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
