wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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