they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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