ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
