So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
