I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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