THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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