I love black thongs
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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