I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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