How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
