$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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